It's #100!!!

Damn, a milestone. I didn't even know that I was at 100 posts. I don't have anything spectacular for this post. I'm just sitting at home on this Sunday evening watching Say Yes to the Dress and football at the same time. And yes I am that girl. I love wedding shows and I looooove sports. I digress. I have a job interview tomorrow. And this one is with an insurance company. It's not what I want to do but I have to work up to that, build some capital, move from DC, get in the nightlife scene. But it's a start and I have to take baby steps. It'll be ample income to sustain life and have fun. I have my hopes up but it's because I have faith that this is the one. This time it'll be ok.

That was kinda whack for #100. I'm going to surprise you with my milestone post. I don't know when it will be but it'll be something special.

- Gym Class Heroes - Kid Nothing vs. The Echo Factor :)

Plateau

I don't know if I am the only one or if I'm selfish or if I'm a loner or if I'm just plain mean but when I don't feel like being bothered, I DON'T feel like being bothered. The thing is I used to have an escape. In college, I'd take a walk or go looking around and my roommate (who is the most awesomest roommate ever) wouldn't bother me or ask where I was going. Now that idea is a little far fetched. Now let me preface my anger with this: I honestly don't mind letting someone know where I'm going when I'm leaving the house, but if I didn't ask you to come DON'T invite yourself. Sometimes I like to be alone and sit with my thoughts and marvel at my ideas. Or for that matter I don't always want to go places with him and that is in general. He has a sort of weird "us/our" mentality in his head. I guess because we both like new things and travelling but I know like hell I don't want him to come on every trip I go on. I know I digress but I've been feeling like this for a while. (Back to our regularly scheduled programming) It doesn't happen all that often but when it does I need space. While I love my roommate to death, I don't think that he has picked up on this trait of mine yet. If I were to get up and walk toward the door right now, he'd ask me where I was going. And he'd think that I'd be wrong not to tell him. Sometimes I just need some ME-time.

So I found out how I can change this. I NEED A HOBBY!!! Something that I can do alone. That's of no interest to my roommate and I've found that is a book club. The sooner this happens the better off our relationship would be. I also think I'm going to join a gym. Now, I thought us working out together would be awesome but honestly, he just talks too much. Ok, ok, enough bashing of the homie because I really love my bff.

-I Am the Avalanche - Murderous

Same shit, different day

After I ended yesterday on such a high note, I was ecstatic about the weekend. I have a job interview at an Indian restaurant on Monday and that's because he was impressed with my e-mail. And today was going fine until I heard from fucking Mohammed. (Back story: My car hasn't been working since Labor Day and I took it to a shop by a friend's house to get it fixed last Thursday. I talked to the man and he said no more than $1000 to fix the shit up.) Now I get a call that my car is ready and my bill is $1500. All I asked my folks for was $800 and now I'm stuck in a hard place and need to come up with $200 more to get my car Monday. The upside is that he'll let me pay him the other $500 over time. Breaks are not given to me. Ever! I HAVE to get this job on Monday. And I don't have anyone to ask for the $200. I hate that I can't support myself. At least my parents don't know how I'm living. They'd be utterly disgusted. I'm pretty much out of options at this point. And now it's 5:45 and I plan to be good and drunk by 6:30. I'll let you know how that goes.

It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die...

Those words are from the great Sam Cooke. I guess that struggle is just a part of the human experience. But when you're at your wit's end what more is there. Today had been very stressful and this time I have no herbal remedy to rely on. For I have given that up for a chance at a better life. There's nothing wrong with my life right now; I actually love it. But every morning when I wake up I don't think "What am I going to wear to work/school?' or "I wonder how the commute is going to be.", I think damn another day of this bullshit. Then around 5 my roommate comes home and I forget about my situation until of course the next morning. I feel that I worked too hard to be where I am but maybe I didn't. Maybe I should've worked harder. But whatever the case may be, I hope that things change soon.

-A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke